Conflict is an inevitable part of life, and how we handle it can make all the difference in our personal and professional relationships. Understanding your Enneagram conflict styles and your type can help you navigate difficult situations more easily and empathetically. Enneagram conflict styles are divided into three different groups, with each group having a unique way of dealing with conflict. In this article, we’ll explore each Enneagram type’s conflict style and provide tips for managing their reactions. Keep reading to learn how your Enneagram type deals with conflict and how you can improve your conflict resolution skills.
Introduction to the Enneagram
The Enneagram is a powerful and dynamic personality system that describes nine distinct types, each of which reflects a different pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaving. These types are based on different worldviews and coping mechanisms developed throughout our lives. By understanding the Enneagram, we can gain valuable insights into our own behaviour, making it easier to overcome personal challenges and interact more effectively with others.
Understanding the Enneagram conflict styles and how the different types deal with conflict
Enneagram Conflict Styles or Harmonic Groups
Understanding how Enneagram types deal with conflict is of utmost importance for better communication and conflict resolution. Conflict is inevitable, even for the most peaceful individuals, and it can cause strain in relationships. Enneagram conflict styles are divided into three Harmonic Groups- the Positive Outlook/Escapist Group, the Competency Group, and the Reactive Group. Each group has a common approach to handling conflict, and it reflects their personality type. It’s important to recognise that each group’s approach is necessary to resolve conflict holistically.
Knowing your Enneagram type and the Enneagram conflict styles can also help you deal with conflict or identify your type. For example, Type 1s are in the Competency Group, meaning they tend to be correct and sensible when it comes to conflict. Type 2s are in the Positive Outlook Group, focusing on positive self-image, while Type 4s are in the Reactive Group, withdrawing and seeking support when faced with conflict.[1][2]
In conclusion, understanding Enneagram types and conflict resolution is essential for better relationships and communication. So, take the time to learn your Enneagram type and manage your reactions in conflict situations effectively.
Explanation of the three Enneagram Conflict styles or Harmonic Groups
Dealing with conflict utilising the Enneagram
The Enneagram is a powerful tool that can help us understand not only ourselves but also others. One of the ways it does this is by grouping the nine Enneagram types into three Harmonic Groups. These groups are organised around the way our personality defends against loss and disappointment. The three groups are the Positive Outlook Group, the Competency Group, and the Reactive Group.
The Positive Outlook Group consists of types 2, 7, and 9. Each of these types copes with conflict and disappointment by putting a positive spin on things. Type 2s focus on their positive self-image, while 7s emphasise positive experiences and environment. Type 9s put emphasis on the positive qualities of others and their surroundings.[3][4]
The Competency Group consists of types 1, 3, and 5. Each of these types copes with conflict and disappointment by being competent. Type 1s channel their feelings into activity, type 3s focus on tasks and efficiency, while type 5s try to fix the problem logically by detaching from their emotions.
The Reactive Group consists of types 4, 6, and 8. These types tend to react emotionally when things don’t go their way. Type 4s want people to understand and empathise with their pain; type 6s often react defensively or seek support, while type 8s may become aggressive and pushy to get what they want.
Understanding the Harmonic Groups can help us understand ourselves and others better and can ultimately lead to improved conflict resolution and stronger relationships.
Importance of recognising that each group's style is needed to resolve conflict
When it comes to conflict resolution, recognising that each Enneagram group has a unique style is essential. Each group brings a set of strengths and competencies to the conflict resolution process. The Positive Outlook Group, Competency Group, and Reactive Group all play an important role in resolving conflicts holistically. It is crucial to understand that no group is better than the others, and each group’s style is necessary to achieve a satisfactory resolution. For example, Type 1 prefers to follow the system and may get upset with those who don’t. Type 4 deals with conflicts emotionally by withdrawing and seeking support. Type 9 mediates conflicts by being a good listener and finding commonalities between all parties. Understanding each group’s style can help individuals recognise their own approach and that of others. By learning about personality types and conflict resolution, people can manage their reactions better and build more successful relationships. In conclusion, recognising and respecting each Enneagram group’s style is essential for resolving conflicts effectively.[5][6]
Conflict Styles of Each Enneagram Type
Each type takes conflict seriously
It is important to recognise that each Enneagram type takes conflict seriously. Even though they may handle it differently than others, it doesn’t mean that their approach is less valuable. Understanding the conflict styles of each type can help you better navigate conflict in your relationships and also help you identify your own type.
Enneagram Type 1
Type 1s are part of the Competency Group, which means they aim for competency in any conflict situation. They tend to approach conflict sensibly and correctly, keeping the system in mind. Feeling their emotions can be overwhelming for them, so they often repress or deny them and channel that energy into resolving the issue at hand. 1s usually prefer to follow the system and can get frustrated with people who don’t. In resolving conflict with a Type 1, it’s essential to remember that they take the situation seriously and want to find a solution. Being gentle with them and letting them know the impact of their behaviour can help mitigate the situation. Using “I” statements can also make them feel less attacked and allow them to communicate more effectively. Direct communication is the key to resolving conflict with a Type 1. As with any conflict, knowing the enneagram conflict styles of those involved will help find an effective solution that satisfies everyone involved.[9][10]
Enneagram Type 2
Type 2 in the Enneagram is known as the Helper. These individuals are highly attuned to the emotional needs and feelings of others, often neglecting their own needs in the process. They have a strong desire to be accepted and liked by those around them and will go to great lengths to earn approval. However, this can lead to difficulties in setting boundaries and asserting their own needs.
One of the defence mechanisms used by Type 2s is repression, where they push their own needs and feelings out of awareness in order to maintain their self-image as helpful individuals. This can lead to physical tension and somatisation of their repressed emotions. Additionally, Type 2s may struggle with feelings of resentment or dissatisfaction when they feel their own needs are not being met.[11][12]
When resolving conflicts with Type 2, it’s important to approach them with warmth and personal contact. Show appreciation for their assistance and support, but also encourage them to take responsibility for their own needs and set boundaries when necessary. Remind them to take time for themselves and breathe deeply to stay grounded. By understanding and working with Type 2’s natural inclinations, conflicts can be resolved in a positive and productive manner.
Enneagram Type 3
Type 3 individuals desire to stand out and be considered highly successful. Conflict for a Type 3 often arises when they must decide between speaking their truth or living out the truth of the people-groups and culture around them. In relationships, Type 3s tend to be ambitious, adaptable, and enthusiastic; however, they may overlook the ideas of their partners. To handle conflict healthily, a Type 3 should be calm and attentive when engaging with others, especially those who tend to avoid conflict, such as Type 9s. It is important for a Type 3 to recognise that conflict should be addressed directly, as open discussion leads to resolution and peace. When experiencing stress, Type 3s may feel like they need to entertain or overcome repetitive failure constantly, but they should avoid being overly critical of others, particularly Type 9s. By understanding their Enneagram type, Type 3s can learn to manage their reactions to conflict better and build stronger relationships in their personal and professional lives.[13][14]
Enneagram Type 4
Enneagram Type 4 people are known for being expressive, sensitive, and creative. They have a strong desire to be unique and authentic, often seeking to distinguish themselves from others by finding their own identity. However, this can also lead to feelings of being misunderstood or outcast, especially during less healthy times. These individuals struggle with melancholy, self-indulgence, and self-pity, often feeling vulnerable and defective. Withholding themselves from others, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living.
Type 4s thrive when they have the opportunity to express their emotions through a form of art and when their creativity is appreciated and accepted. They also need to feel valued and recognised for who they are. It’s important to recognise that healthy Type 4s are honest with themselves, owning all of their feelings and looking at their emotional conflicts without denying or whitewashing them. Therefore, Type 4s may benefit from cultivating self-awareness and being willing to reveal highly personal and potentially shameful things about themselves to come to terms with their emotional history. Overall, recognising and understanding the Type 4 personality can help individuals manage their reactions in conflict situations and deepen their relationships with themselves and others.[15][16]
Enneagram Type 5
Type Five is known for being alert, insightful, and curious, and they possess a great capacity for concentration and focus. They are independent and innovative but can also become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. Fives generally have a problem with eccentricity and isolation. They want to possess the knowledge to understand the environment and have everything figured out as a way of defending themselves from threats from the environment. Fives spend a lot of time observing and contemplating. They have a difficult time engaging directly with activities that might bolster their confidence, so they take a step back into their minds where they feel more capable. They tend to reject the system and have little patience for rules, preferring to work on their own. They value knowledge, understanding, and insight, and their identities are built around having ideas and insightful people.[17][18]
Enneagram Type 6
Type Six, also known as the Loyalist, is engaged, responsible, anxious, and suspicious, according to the Enneagram Institute. They are committed to their beliefs and relationships, often being more loyal to them than to themselves. Sixes struggle with self-confidence, worrying about their ability to handle life’s challenges alone. They seek security and support from others, often creating structures and alliances to provide these, as well as becoming defensive or evasive when they feel threatened. When confronted with conflict, Type Six falls into the Reactive Group, meaning they react emotionally and seek both independence and support. They assess people and situations to seek out trust and firm ground amid their anxiety. As a part of the Thinking Center, Sixes have trouble accessing their inner guidance, leading to a lack of confidence in their own thoughts and judgments. By recognising these tendencies, Type Sixes can learn how to manage their reactions in conflict situations and build their self-confidence to navigate life’s challenges.[19][20]
Enneagram Type 7
Type 7 Enneagrams have a unique approach to conflict resolution. They are known for seeking happiness, relief, and positive outcomes when dealing with conflict. They tend to avoid negativity and prefer to focus on the good and the possibilities that can arise from any situation. Type 7s are enthusiastic, creative, and optimistic individuals who are capable of generating new ideas and solutions, which can be useful in resolving conflicts. They are people-oriented, and they enjoy meeting new people and attending parties or other large gatherings, which can help them build relationships and network with others. However, when it comes to commitment, they tend to be fearful of long-term commitments and can sometimes avoid responsibility. As a result, they may need to be reminded of the importance of sticking to commitments, especially in conflict situations. Type 7s can be motivated by positive affirmations and by receiving encouragement that recognises their creative ideas and solutions. They can also benefit from spending quality time with others who can help them stay focused and calm in stressful situations.[21][22]
Enneagram Type 8
Type 8, also known as The Challenger, tends to take charge in conflict situations. They are self-confident and assertive and have a strong desire to control their own lives. In relationships, Type 8s are fiercely independent and expect others to be loyal to them. They may come across as intimidating or aggressive, but this is often a defence mechanism to protect themselves from feeling vulnerable. Type 8s value strength, responsibility, and courage, and they are driven by a need for control. They tend to be straightforward and direct in their communication, which can sometimes come across as harsh or blunt. In conflict situations, Type 8s are not afraid to take the lead and make decisions, but they can also be fair and balanced thinkers who consider other viewpoints. They are motivated by personal autonomy and may become upset by unexpected changes or feeling subordinate to others. It’s important to understand a Type 8’s perspective and to communicate with them directly and logically. Showing consistency and reliability in a relationship with a Type 8 can help build trust and mutual respect.[23][24]
Enneagram Type 9
Enneagram Type 9 individuals tend to appreciate peace and avoid conflicts, making them excellent mediators. They seek harmony and unity and often act as a stabilising force in their environment. However, their reluctance to confront issues and their tendency to neglect their own needs can lead to passive-aggressive behaviour and a lack of assertiveness.
Type 9 individuals should focus on building their self-esteem and setting boundaries to avoid being taken advantage of. They can benefit from practising mindfulness techniques to improve their ability to be present in the moment and reflect on their own needs to build confidence and self-awareness.[25][26]
It is important to note that while conflict may be uncomfortable for Type 9 individuals, it is still essential to address issues in order to maintain healthy relationships. They should recognise the value of communication and express their thoughts and feelings to avoid passive-aggressive behaviour.
Importance of recognising and understanding Enneagram types and conflict resolution
Understanding how Enneagram types handle conflict is crucial in building healthy relationships and resolving conflicts effectively. By recognising each type’s unique motivations and coping mechanisms, individuals can develop strategies to manage reactions in conflict situations. The Enneagram personality tool can be extremely helpful in the workplace, allowing individuals to serve their peers and clients better. The assessment gives insight into each person’s perspectives and motivations, aiding communication and cohesiveness. Moreover, recognising and understanding Enneagram types can be useful in personal relationships, helping individuals to navigate conflict in a healthy way. Each Enneagram type takes conflict seriously, so it is essential to approach each type differently.
Understanding the three Harmonic Groups and their styles is also necessary to resolve conflict successfully, as each group’s approach is needed. Encouraging individuals to learn about their own Enneagram type can also help them to develop effective conflict resolution strategies, leading to more productive personal and professional relationships.[27][28]
Understand your own Enneagram type and how to manage reactions in conflict situations
Understanding your own Enneagram type and how it affects your reactions to conflict can be incredibly helpful in managing those reactions and resolving conflicts. By recognising your own triggers and tendencies in conflict situations, you can become more self-aware and take steps to react in a more constructive and productive way.
Here are some ways to encourage learning about your Enneagram type and managing reactions in conflict situations:
- Take a reputable Enneagram test to discover your type and gain a deeper understanding of your personality traits.
- Read up on your Enneagram type and become familiar with its strengths and weaknesses.
- Practice mindfulness and self-reflection in conflict situations to become more aware of your reactions.
- Consider seeking therapy or coaching to work on managing your reactions and resolving conflicts.
- Remember that conflict is a natural part of life and can often lead to growth and understanding when handled properly. Embrace the opportunity to learn and grow from conflicts rather than avoid them.[29][30]
Learning about your Enneagram type and becoming more aware of your reactions in conflict situations can not only benefit you but also improve your relationships with others. By understanding and respecting each other’s Enneagram types and conflict styles, individuals and teams can work towards resolving conflicts in a more harmonious and productive manner.